


Knock on my heart, I'll open for you and only you

by reherareh



Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Comfort, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt, I don't know you decide, Implied Sexual Content, Insecurity, Kissing, Love, M/M, Moonbin loves Rocky A LOT, Sexual Tension, So does Rocky, True Love, also soft, mature I guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:20:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24310450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reherareh/pseuds/reherareh
Summary: Rocky has a heavy heart full of thoughts and insecurities. He's tired of everything but when his love comes and comforts him he can't find himself being tired of him.
Relationships: Moon Bin/Park Minhyuk | Rocky
Comments: 21
Kudos: 59





	Knock on my heart, I'll open for you and only you

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!  
> I have finally written my first Binhyuk fanfic!  
> I think it's kinda different from my other two works. I hope you'll enjoy it anyway and I would really appreciate feedback since it's my first time writing something that's a little bit more mature. At least, I think it is but I'm not sure cuz I'm really not an expert in this area lol.

Rocky's broken and heavy heart was drowning him in deep black water and his toxic and furious mind made him feel like he would explode if anyone even looked at him or dared to speak to him. That's why he left the dorm and ran to their company building, straight to the dance studio, his safe place, and his other home.

Rocky didn't waste any time. He took off his hoodie and threw aside, not caring where it could've landed in the dull darkness. Rocky switched the lights on and made his way to the speakers, plugging his phone and searching for a moment or two until he found the right song. Their title track, Knock.

He jogged to the center of the practice room and hopped up and down on the same place a few times while shaking his arms and hands. Then he fell into the beat and started dancing.

He didn't care about warming his body up properly or stretching. He didn't care about anything right now. He just danced. He danced with the hope of forgetting everything. But he couldn't. Seeing his reflection in the mirrors, seeing himself dance made everything pour over him like a waterfall. Rocky danced as hard as he could, exaggerating his moves and pushing his body to its limits.

While dancing he thought over everything but yet his mind was in a haze. The dance moves, he wasn't even thinking about them. His body automatically moved to the music just the way it was supposed to and had done countless times before.

Suddenly the song was over and Rocky couldn't stand up. He fell down to the floor with a cry. His whole body and muscles were aching and he could hardly breathe.

At some point, he had managed to turn himself over onto his back. He stared at the ceiling while listening to his heavy breathing that slowly got more regular.

Rocky hadn't been aware of the new post on their official YouTube channel. He saw it when they finally came back to the dorm after another busy day and he couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't push down and bury the feelings that had grown inside of him the past weeks. Not this time.

Was Moonbin better than him now? But no. Rocky was one of the best dancers in kpop, and that wasn't something he had come up with himself. Professionals had said that and Moonbin also said that. He even said that Rocky was the best. 

That's why Rocky hated himself for being jealous of Moonbin, his best friend who he had been in love with since the moment he saw him and who he had called boyfriend for years now. Still, Rocky couldn't help it. As much as he was happy for Moonbin and was supportive, he was jealous and felt so much envy. Moonbin had gotten so many chances to show off his dancing which was fine, more people definitely needed to see his dancing skills but why did Rocky have to be pushed aside for that to happen? Why couldn't he be the main dancer together with Moonbin anymore?

Moonbin's growing popularity wasn't a secret and he had always been more popular than Rocky. He got more schedules than Rocky ever would get. He was handsome, tall, and had a great muscular body. He could rap like a rapper and sing better than many other vocals in the industry. And he could dance... as the main dancer should dance. So yeah, who was Rocky in comparison to him? No one. He was just a sad guy who forced his depression away when he was with the members but welcomed it when he was alone.

No one even cared about how he was feeling. No one even pointed anything out. Everyone acted as if it was the most normal thing that Moonbin's solo dancing had made it to the music video while Rocky didn't even get a proper closeup shot and that Moonbin always showed their killer part at music shows while Rocky stood behind him. Everyone acted as if it was completely normal that a vertical dance practice video of Knock was posted with only Moonbin dancing and not one of Rocky.

Rocky didn’t even know Moonbin had filmed it, he hadn’t told Rocky. But Moonbin told Rocky everything. They weren't the type to hide things from each other but it seemed like both of them had started to do that now. Maybe a big part of the reason Rocky laid so limply on the floor with his broken and heavy heart aching more than his muscles was because of Moonbin hiding it from him. Rocky couldn’t understand why. A small part of him wanted to believe that Moonbin had forgotten to tell Rocky because of how fully packed their schedules were during comeback promotions but deep down Rocky knew that wasn’t the truth. Moonbin had plenty of chances to tell him. It wasn’t something to forget to tell, especially when Moonbin had a boyfriend who always eagerly listened to his stories about his fun solo activities despite what he may have felt inside.

Now, who would believe that once upon a time Rocky had done some of the things Moonbin did now, in his place? Who would know that he also was the main dancer? The media who called him rapper while Moonbin was called the main dancer clearly didn't know so how would the general public or the new fans know? It was all marketing but still, his company was being unfair. How hard hadn't Rocky worked for them and for his group? Why didn't his efforts mean anything? Why didn't he ever get that many chances and all that exposure? Was it all because he wasn't as popular as Moonbin? 

He sighed and he pushed himself up on his feet. Rocky walked over to his phone and put on Somebody like. They hadn't made a choreography for this song but Rocky had a lot of ideas in his head. But right now he didn't feel like focusing on any of them. It had been a long time since he danced freestyle. He wanted to try it, see if he was still as good or if maybe the reason he wasn't acknowledged as the main dancer anymore was because of how bad he had become instead of getting better. Even his body shape was worse now. He had lost the muscles on his arms and his abs were also fading. The time he spent in the studio, trying to compose and write lyrics always passed in a blur when all he did was sit down and eat snacks because he didn't get any ideas at all. With no schedules he had had a lot of time he could've spent on going to the gym but his mind had been too exhausted.

He was sad and annoyed almost all the time until one of the members finally came back to the dorm. Sometimes it took many lonely hours until someone showed up so he just slept off the time. When he saw his members he felt happy and energetic. He wanted to spend time with them but after their own busy days, they were tired and went to sleep. The only person who didn't and stayed with Rocky was Moonbin. At some point he had even started to ask Rocky if he wanted to go somewhere or do something the moment he stepped inside their dorm. Rocky didn't have the heart to take away the rest and sleep Moonbin needed all because of his own boring days and the longing he felt for something to do with someone. So Rocky had been happy with the cuddles Moonbin offered in his warm embrace. It was more than Rocky felt he deserved.

When the two of them had been through so much during all these years and when they meant the world to each other, how could Rocky now be mad at Moonbin for getting all the attention? It wasn't right. The only person he should be mad at was himself for not being enough. Too few were interested in what he did so he might as well do nothing. That was what their company probably thought and it had started to stick on Rocky. He had started to believe that he was worthless. But each time he thought that to himself, sad, disappointed, and angry tears burned in his eyes. Just like right now. He was dancing without really thinking. He just moved his body along to the beat and expressed himself with the lyrics while those tears threatened to roll down his cheeks. His dancing didn’t even look good. It wasn’t near anything that used to satisfy him. 

Rocky dropped to the floor again but this time it wasn’t because he had danced their hardest choreography with so much power he barely could breathe after the song ended. This time it was because of how tired he was of seeing himself fail. He was tired of not being able to do anything about the turn not only his career but his daily life had taken so suddenly.

He laid on his back on the floor and spread out his completely covered arms and legs. He didn’t have the confidence to wear sleeveless tank tops anymore even though the t-shirts and long sleeve shirts were too hot. He had stopped wearing them quite some time ago even though he still had muscles when he first stopped. 

Rocky used to love the way Moonbin glanced at his arms and his chest when he wore tank tops or when he was so sweaty he just took it off, dancing with nothing on his upper body. When the dance practice was over or when they took a pause, Moonbin never cared that their members still were in the room. He used to grab Rocky firmly and push him against the wall or sometimes even onto the long but narrow bench seat to get on top of him and kiss him deeply. Moonbin then kissed every centimetre of Rocky's exposed skin while their members whined about how gross they were. Neither Rocky or Moonbin could hear them over their own loud heartbeats. Moonbin kissed his arms, his chest, his abs, and his neck. Here and there he sucked and bit on Rocky's tanned skin, earning a reward of small moans and gasps from Rocky while leaving marks to kiss again the next day but softly instead of harshly. The moment Moonbin pulled away from him, he stared at Rocky's messy hair and sweaty skin fondly, loving the way Rocky's breath hitched and the way his eyes were unfocused because of pleasure. 

Rocky had felt so confident and even admired his body in the reflection of the mirror. He had loved it, even more, when the marks Moonbin had left on him the night before in bed or in the practice room stood out clearly for everyone to see. For everyone to know he belonged to Moonbin and that Moonbin belonged to him, that it always had been like that and always would. 

Rocky was so deep in his thoughts he didn't notice the door to the practice room open and he didn’t even notice the steps that came closer and closer to him. Not until the person who had entered spoke to him.

“What are you doing here when you should be sleeping?”

Rocky didn’t need to look to see who it was. He already knew. He knew the second he heard that soft voice. He knew that voice like he knew his name. And to hear it while his eyes were closed still after years of dating made his heart flutter.

“Practicing,” Rocky mumbled without opening his eyes.

“Don’t tell me you danced to Knock.”

Rocky just shrugged. He heard a heavy sigh and scratching, probably on Moonbin's neck. He had a habit of scratching it. One that Rocky sometimes wished Moonbin could stop with because of how sensitive his skin was.

“You’ll be too tired tomorrow, Rocky.”

Rocky finally opened his eyes. He was met with the figure of Moonbin leaning over him in black training trousers much like the ones he himself was wearing and a white t-shirt slightly covered by a grey zip-up hoodie.

Moonbin’s eyes were gazing deep into Rocky's. They were filled with their usual warmth but they were also worried and the frown between his eyebrows couldn’t go unnoticed.

“So what?” Rocky said nonchalantly with a rather annoyed tone in his voice. Moonbin’s frown became deeper and he dropped down to the floor, kneeling beside Rocky’s head.

“What do you mean So what?”

Rocky sighed and rolled his eyes.

“So what if I’ll be too tired tomorrow? No one will notice anyway. No one will care.”

Moonbin looked like he had been slapped in the face. His expression was shocked with a flash of hurt.

“Rocky, what…”

“Just leave me alone!”

Rocky got up on his feet with a quick movement. He glared down at Moonbin before walking around him to pick up his hoodie and unplug his phone from the speaker.

“Rocky, what’s going on?”

Rocky could sense Moonbin walking closer to him. He could hear the genuine worry in his voice and when he looked up he saw the worried and anxious look on Moonbin’s handsome face through the reflection of the narrow mirror in front of him. Yet, he only felt more hurt and angry.

Rocky turned around and walked towards Moonbin with too much stomping from his feet. He didn’t even walk as lightly as he used to anymore. He didn’t have the grace and gentleness he used to have.

Their noses almost brushed together before Rocky made a halt. He stared into Moonbin’s eyes and felt the gnawing rage inside him begging to be released.

“All of this is because of you.”

Rocky thought he would shout the words that Moonbin definitely didn’t deserve to get thrown at but instead, Rocky whispered them quietly with hurt, anger, sadness, regret, and tiredness behind them. Tears were burning in his eyes and when they finally started to flow down his cheeks he was happy he hadn’t tried to hold them back like he always did. He wanted to let everything out. For once, he didn’t want to be the reliable rock who always made sure to be there for his members. He wanted someone to be there for him instead. No, he needed someone to be there for him. To really care and try to understand him. To comfort him.

“M-me?” Moonbin asked with a weak voice. Moonbin’s breathing was heavy against Rocky’s lips that tingled when the pressure from Moonbin’s breath reminded him of those simple kisses they so often pressed onto each other’s lips. The memories were so fresh the latest one was from this morning in the kitchen of their dorm.

Rocky broke down, sobbing out ugly cries in a way he never had done in front of another person before. He wanted to clung onto Moonbin and bury his face in his chest and seek comfort there, in his safe embrace. But he couldn’t, not after what he had said to him.

“Rocky, please tell me what’s going on! I don’t understand, why are you like this? Please talk to me!”

Moonbin panicked. He had never seen Rocky like this before, so miserable. He didn't know what to do. He tried to reach for Rocky but he flinched when Moonbin touched him and just kept crying, his body shaking.

Moonbin felt his heart break for Rocky. It hurt to see the love of his life like that but he didn't know what to do.

Soon, Rocky forced himself to stop crying and looked up at Moonbin, still sniffling a little. Moonbin relaxed and softened in a way he didn't know he could at the sight of Rocky's big water-filled eyes and trembling lips. The panic that had made Moonbin numb was gone. Rocky was also calming down. 

Moonbin cupped Rocky’s cheeks and dried off the tears from Rocky’s face with his thumbs. That small gesture was already making Rocky feel better and he wasn't surprised. After all, it was Moonbin, the person he loved and trusted with all of his heart.

He took a deep breath and started to tell Moonbin everything. Rocky was scared of Moonbin's reaction so he didn't look at him while explaining. His eyes were closed and to make sure he didn't fall over because of his weak legs, he held Moonbin's waist tightly.

The longer Moonbin listened to Rocky the more his heart shattered for the boy he loved so much. He didn't know Rocky had gotten so affected by the whole situation. When he was done Moonbin had no idea what to say. So he didn't say anything. He just pulled Rocky into a hug and held the younger boy as tightly as he could while trying to not squeeze the life out of him. Softly and slowly Moonbin patted and stroked Rocky's back while he pressed kisses on Rocky's temple. 

Finally Moonbin found words to say.

“The reason I didn’t tell you I filmed the dance practice video was because of this. Do you think I don't notice what's going on? Do you really think I never notice how much you also want an individual schedule and how bored you are at the dorm? I just didn’t know it all affected you so much. I know I should’ve talked to you about it but when I saw how happy you were greeting me when I came back I just couldn’t bring myself to talk about it. And when I saw how cheerful and full of energy you were this comeback I thought, perhaps Rocky is happy anyway. Perhaps he doesn’t really care. But it was all stupid excuses I made up for myself. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Rocky. The things that are happening this comeback... You’re right, all of it is because of me…”

“No, I didn’t mean that,” Rocky whispered against Moonbin’s neck shamefully. He felt Moonbin shake his head.

“But it’s true.” Moonbin sighed and closed his eyes.

Rocky tightened his grip and pulled Moonbin closer. If there had been any space between them before there definitely wasn’t now. Moonbin sighed again and also hugged tighter, inhaling Rocky’s scent. The scent that reminded Moonbin of home.

“Please don’t say that, Hyung,” Rocky said desperately. He hated that Moonbin was blaming himself and feeling guilty for him.

"Okay, okay," Moonbin mumbled and pulled back, only enough to look at Rocky but Rocky still whined and pouted from the loss of body contact. Moonbin couldn't help but coo over how adorable Rocky looked. He pressed a soft kiss on Rocky's pouting lips.

"I love you. I love you for the way you are, muscles or not, I don't care. You're perfect, always have, and always will be. I love every part of you like it's a part of me. I wouldn't want you to be any other way, except your way... And if you don't like the way you are now, if you want to start working out again, I can help you. I'll take you to the gym with me, or we'll just do exercises in my room. Then we can shower together when we're done."

It wasn't like they hadn't showered together before but Rocky still blushed and giggled shyly when Moonbin put that offer on the table.

"I would like that," he said and smiled at Moonbin who got pink cheeks.

"Of course you would," Moonbin said with a teasing smirk that didn't match his blushing cheeks. Rocky smacked Moonbin on the arm but then leaned into him with a content sigh.

Of course, Moonbin was the person who was there for him. Who cared for him and understood him. He was the one who could comfort him so easily.

"We both know you're still the best dancer among other idols, Rocky. Don't argue against me. This isn't about you getting worse at dancing because that's simply not possible and no one can convince me otherwise. This is all about getting me the spotlight because a lot of idiots have been showing interest in me lately," Moonbin said after a few minutes, pulling back from their hug and putting his hands on Rocky's shoulders. Rocky laughed a little.

"If they're idiots for showing interest in you, then what am I?"

Moonbin laughed and ruffled Rocky's hair, leaning in to give him a cheek kiss.

"You're my boyfriend, the biggest idiot who is head over heels for me," Moonbin whispered against his cheek before leaning back with a playful smile. Rocky swung his arms around Moonbin's neck and tiptoed to kiss him. Their lips moved slowly and softly. Moonbin's hands found their usual spot on either side of Rocky's hips and Rocky's hands found Moonbin's hair, pulling and stroking it the way he knew Moonbin loved.

All of a sudden, their kisses weren't soft and innocent. Now their tongues danced inside their mouths. It was messy and wet but they loved it.

"I love you so much," Moonbin moaned against Rocky's lips. Rocky could only hum back in response because Moonbin suddenly pushed him backward and when Rocky's lower back hit the small table against the wall by the door, Moonbin grabbed his thighs and lifted him onto the table.

Moonbin trailed his kisses down to Rocky's jaw and then his neck. When Rocky felt teeth dug into a soft spot by his collarbones he gasped, half in pleasure, half in panic.

"Don't leave marks, Bin," he managed to moan out. 

Moonbin stopped and tilted his head back, staring into Rocky's eyes so intensely Rocky felt like he was set on fire.

"Bin?" he asked, amused.

Rocky blushed and fumbled over his words. "You know I d-don't use formalities w-when we, we..."

Moonbin laughed a laugh that was deeper than usual, probably coming from deep down his throat. Rocky found it oddly seducing.

"Mmm, I know. I just like to see you flustered," he whispered, his voice going an octave lower just like his laugh had done a few seconds ago.

Rocky really had a thing for Moonbin's deeper and darker raw voice and Moonbin knew that. He knew Rocky was struggling to keep his head straight and that the pleasure was starting to make his blood rush down, south. Moonbin was feeling the same way and he loved it a lot more than he usually did because of how long it had been since he felt those sensations.

Moonbin smiled smugly before reconnecting their lips and pushing his tongue inside Rocky's mouth fiercely. Rocky almost fell over on his back because of the sudden force in Moonbin's kisses. Luckily, Moonbin's hard grip on his waist stopped him from falling back over the table and even pulled him closer.

Then it was all too much for Rocky. His mind was full of pleasure and only pleasure. His senses were full of Moonbin and only Moonbin. Desperately he squeezed Moonbin's waist with his thighs, drawing him closer while he pulled Moonbin's hair harshly without really intending to but Moonbin didn't seem to care. It even drew a moan from his lips. 

Rocky was barely registering the kisses on his neck because of how caught up he was with trying to breathe. That was until he felt Moonbin suck on his neck hard.

"You'll leave mar..." Another hard suck that made Rocky gasp and stop in the middle of the sentence.

"Bin, people will see it," Rocky whined and tried to pull Moonbin away but he stood there between Rocky's legs as if he was glued to the floor. Glued to Rocky's neck and skin.

"Makeup," Moonbin mumbled in Rocky's ear before biting Rocky's ear lobe. The groan that was leaving Rocky's throat turned into a loud moan when Moonbin now sucked hard on his adam's apple. Instinctively he threw his head back because of the overwhelming pleasing sensations Moonbin made him feel.

"It... It won't cover..." Rocky tried to speak between his hard panting but he couldn't. 

Moonbin's hands slipped under Rocky's shirt and slid over his skin sensually. Moonbin had finally stopped kissing his neck and was now busy with Rocky's lips. He attempted to lift up Rocky's shirt but Rocky grabbed his arms to stop him. Moonbin pulled back and looked at Rocky, questioning. Rocky swallowed nervously and pulled his shirt back down quickly before Moonbin could look.

"Is this about that muscle loss? I thought I told you I don't care. You're still so beautiful, Rocky," Moonbin said softly and ran his hands over Rocky's thighs.

"But you liked my muscles," Rocky said with a small voice.  
"I liked them when they were a part of you. Now they aren't so I don't like them." Moonbin laughed at his own silly words but Rocky didn't laugh. He was overwhelmed by how emotional those words made him feel and how much it meant for him.

"That sounded better in my head," Moonbin explained with another laugh but then he got serious, a small frown showing up between his eyebrows. 

He took Rocky's hands and pressed some soft kisses on Rocky's knuckles before speaking again.

"What happened to your confidence and all that self-love you always had, huh?"

Rocky's eyes got watery and he sighed sadly.

"I don't know. It's not really there," he answered honestly. Moonbin sighed and gave a light squeeze to Rocky's hands.

"I want it back," Moonbin demanded.

Rocky inhaled air slowly and then exhaled slower to calm himself. He nodded with a small smile that Moonbin returned with a very big one.

"So since you'll get all confident again and since it's been too long since we last, you know, had it..." Moonbin said slowly, his neck turning a shade of red. Rocky swallowed hard and nodded, trying to ignore the way his heartbeat had risen so fast and the way an old familiar arousal feeling took over the butterflies in his stomach when he thought of those times him and Moonbin had made love.

"Let's make sure to do it after the end of promotions," Moonbin finished nervously. Rocky nodded again with a shy smile on his flushed face. Moonbin also smiled and pulled Rocky down from the table.

"I've missed you. I've missed feeling you," Moonbin whispered and kissed the tip of Rocky's nose. Rocky giggled and swung his arms around Moonbin's neck again.

"Me too," he said and buried his face in the crook of Moonbin's neck, pressing a few soft kisses on it.

"Just promise me not to feel burdened by everything, at least try, okay? I know what they're doing is unfair and I understand that you're upset, but just remember that The dark night will end, it will leave us," Moonbin whispered, lips moving briefly over Rocky's ear. Rocky smiled against Moonbin's neck. It was so typical of Moonbin to refer to Knock by whispering the lyrics in his ear but Rocky didn't mind how cheesy his boyfriend was because it was sweet and Rocky loved the way it was comforting him.

"I promise, as long as you're with me," Rocky said.

Moonbin smiled, his eyes full of trillions of sparkling stars when he looked at Rocky who looked back at him with eyes full of shining galaxies.

"I promise, I'll never leave you as long as you open your heart for me and don't keep anything inside."

Rocky stared at Moonbin for a few seconds. Then he lifted his hand up to brush away the light blue hair that was falling down in Moonbin's eyes. His hands continued through Moonbin's hair and down to the back of his neck, pulling softly at the hair there. Moonbin's eyes fluttered close and he let out a trembling breath. His heart was beating hard in his chest. When he opened his eyes Rocky was staring at him intently. The next second Rocky was kissing him and the second after that Moonbin was kissing back with the same burning passion and love.

When Rocky pulled away after what felt like hours, Moonbin still craved for more. Rocky stroked Moonbin's lips with his fingers and then he leaned forward, close enough for another kiss but he didn't connect their lips together. Instead, he whispered, his lips softly touching Moonbin's when they moved to form the words that were only for Moonbin to hear.  
"Knock on my heart, I'll open for you and only you."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> So the angst was based on my personal thoughts, kinda...  
> I don't feel like going into details and I was trying to be pretty clear in the story but I want to say that I think Fantagio doesn't give the members equal opportunities and tends to focus on one member.  
> Don't get me wrong, I support ALL members even if I do have my bias that I care about a lot.  
> I don't know if anyone understands what I mean or if I make any sense but at least I got it off my chest now through this story. 
> 
> If you want to support the members and give them chances for individual schedules you need to help increase their brand reputation ranking. You can follow the guides on @support_rocky on Twitter. That one is for Rocky, but you can follow the steps and do the same for the other members too and I think this is especially important for the members that are less popular. It's really not hard and only takes a few minutes. You can also do this for the whole of Astro to help increase their brand reputation as a group. There are more tutorials on @ASTROBillboard, twitter.


End file.
